FOOLHARDY SQUIRRELS

“Hey Alex!” I called to my son as I walked toward his room. “I found out why the squirrels keep jumping out in front of our car lately!”

For the past few weeks we've had to play chicken with crazy squirrels as they darted out into the middle of the road. Clearly they're indecisiveness doesn't make it an easy game to play with them.

Alex came to his door. “Why?”

I held up my phone. “It's mating season!”

“In December?” Alex leaned against his door jam.

I looked back on my phone. “Says here that they have two litters a year. This one will be born in spring.” I looked up at him. “I guess the females are playing hard-to-get.”

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “Or the girls aren't too happy with who's chasing them.”

I thought about that for a second, then nodded in agreement. “That's true.” I walked over to his window to look up at our leafless oak tree. Up at the very top was a squirrel's nest swaying in the wind. “Or maybe they don't want to be pregnant through the winter, clinging on for dear life as their house gets blown around in a winter storm.”

Alex came over next to me to look up at the tree. “Or maybe you give them way too much credit considering the size of their tiny brains.”

“Hey!” but I had to laugh. “They're actually pretty intelligent! We've both watched them figure out ways to get into my bird feeders!” I looked over at him. “And remember last year when the Cooper hawk was in our back woods? We watched that mom squirrel carry all of her babies to another nest two houses away!”

Alex nodded as he looked back up in the trees. “That's true but it sure seems like their road skills could use a little help. I mean really! Just pick a side! This darting to the left then faking to the right just gets you hit!”

I looked back to my phone. “You know the site I was on actually explained that. It says they're hard wired to do that so they can confuse their predators.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I kind of get it now. A little zigging and zagging would confuse a hawk.”

Alex looked over at me. “Yeah, well they might want to start evolving their hard wired instincts, adding cars into the mix.”

We watched out Alex's window as a car came down our street. A squirrel from our yard darted out in front of the car, stopped midway across, froze for a second before darting back to our yard.

“OHHH!” we both called out as the car barely missed the squirrel.

I looked over at Alex. “Seriously! What was the reason for that!”

Alex looked impressed. “Hey, he missed getting squished by an inch!” Alex looked over at me. “Maybe he's practicing trying to add cars to his hard wired instincts.”

I had to laugh. “Now who's giving them way too much credit?”