RAINING RICE

“DINNER!” I called as I placed the last serving bowl on the table.

My husband Steven and our son Alex came into the dining room.

“Oh, rice! We don't have that very often.” Steven said as he sat down and laid the napkin on his lap.

Alex sat down too. “Hey, you're right.” He looked over at me. “Why don't we have rice more often?”

“Because of you!” I laughed.

Alex looked confused. “I don't get it.” he looked over at Steven. “I like rice.”

Steven just shook his head. “Your Mom's just a little OCD when it comes to rice.”

“Oh, come on!” I cried. “OCD? You remember the mess!”

Alex still looked confused. “I'm not following either one of you.”

I handed the platter of chicken cutlets to him. “When you were little...”

“Still in your highchair.” Steven added.

“You would be tossing rice all over the room.” I passed the bowl of broccoli to him. “I must have had the biggest 'splat mat' they made, under your chair, and you could still fling it past that!”

Alex took the bowl from me. “I can't believe you're still holding that against me!”

“I'm not holding it against you.” I picked up the bowl of rice and took a spoonful. “I'm holding it against me! Do you know how hard it is to get rice off a hardwood floor?”

Alex shook his head. “No.”

“It's close to impossible!” I handed him the bowl of rice. “You can't sweep it up, it gets stuck to the broom. You have to get on your hands and knees and try getting it up with a paper towel but there's still a sticky mess left on the floor so then you have to go get a mop and wash the whole area.” I began cutting a piece of my cutlet. “After you do that a few times you just take rice out of your dinner rotation.”

Alex looked over at Steven. “I think she's holding a grudge.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Hey, it's just easier to pick up a dropped potato. That's all I'm saying.”

“When was the last time I dropped anything on the floor?” Alex asked. “And if I did it was an accident.”

“Of course it's an accident now. The only time you threw food for fun was when you were in your highchair.”

Alex took the rice bowl and began serving himself another spoonful when a few grains dropped to the table. “You've got to be kidding!” he cried as he looked at me shaking his head.

I looked at the few grains and smiled at him. “Try scooping them up from the table.”

Alex took his napkin and sweep them up, leaving a starchy streak behind.

“That's what I'm talking about. If that had been potatoes you'd be done. Now you're going to need a wet paper towel to finish the job.”

Alex got up and got a wet paper towel then came back to the table. “It really isn't that big a deal.”

I smiled at him. “You're right. When it's only a few grains on the table. But when it's the entire bowl on the floor you'd take years to bring it back into rotation too.”

Alex went to throw out the paper towel. “So what else don't you serve because of me?” he asked as he came back to the table.

I thought about it for a moment. “Nothing.” I said.

Steven laughed. “What about eggplant?”

“I hate eggplant.” Alex had a disgusted looked on his face.

I laughed. “And that's why we don't have that anymore.”