SKUNKED

It was close to dawn and the overwhelming stench of skunk woke me up from a sound sleep.

“Oh my God!” I cried, gulping for some air that wasn't putrid smelling.

My husband, Steven was already up and looking out the window. “I don't see him, but the smell is pretty bad.” He closed the window and turned the ceiling fan on. “I'm going to turn the air conditioning off before the smell gets stuck in the filters.”

I grabbed by bathrobe and followed him. “I'm trying not to breath through my nose, but when I breath through my mouth I swear I can almost taste it.” I couldn't help but gag as I held the sleeve of my bathrobe up against my face. “Oh, my God! Smell this!” I held my sleeve up to Steven. “It's on my robe too!”

Steven didn't take me up on my offer to smell my sleeve. Instead he was opening the windows and turning the ceiling fans on. “Can you turn the exhaust fan on over the stove?”

“Sure.” I headed toward the kitchen as our son Alex was coming out of his room. “You're up early.”

“Are you kidding me?” he had his sweatshirt sleeve over his nose. “Who can sleep with that smell!”

Alex followed me into the kitchen. “That's why we're opening windows and turning on the fans.” I explained as I flipped the switch on the exhaust hood then went to open the kitchen door. I'd just stepped out on the deck when I froze, stopping Alex from following me out. “Oh, my God!” I whispered. “It's worse out here!” I quietly backed into the house and closed the door.

“Do you think he's under our deck?” Alex asked.

“I sure hope not.” I went into the hall closet and pulled out the spray bottle of Febreze and started spraying my bathrobe. After a moment I smelled my sleeve again. “Great, now I smell like a skunk that's walked through...” I looked at the Febreze can. “meadows and rain!” I put the can back in the closet as Steven came out of our bedroom.

“The smell's a lot stronger out back.” I told him.

“Do you think it's living under our deck?” Alex asked him.

“I doubt it.” He was headed to the back door. “Our bedroom smells better already so I think he was walking through our yard when something spooked him.”

“Don't open the door!” I cried. “He might be walking under our deck! The last thing we need is for him to get scared again!” I couldn't help shaking my head. “I can't imagine what a direct hit would smell like if this is his I'm-walking-through-the-yard stink!”

Steven closed the door. “Okay. So we'll stay inside until we're sure he's moved on.”

The three of us just stood in the kitchen staring at each other.

“Well, there's no going back to bed now.” I sighed as I grabbed the teapot and went to the sink to fill it with water.

“I guess not.” Alex sighed.

Steven went to the refrigerator. “Anyone want some breakfast?” he pulled the carton of eggs out.

Alex and I just looked at him.

Steven looked confused. “What?” he put the eggs on the counter and went to get the frying pan.

I sighed. “How can you want to eat when the stench is still so strong?”

Steven shrugged his shoulders. “I guess I'm getting used to the smell.” he put the frying pan on top of the stove. “And I'm hungry.”

Alex sat down to the kitchen table still holding the sleeve of his sweatshirt against his nose. “You know, he's right. Just because it stinks doesn't mean we can't eat.”

Steven smiled as he began cracking eggs into the pan.

“You two enjoy your breakfast.” I smelled my bathrobe sleeve again. “But I'm going to throw this in the washer before I go take a shower and see if that helps.”