NO SCONE ZONE

I walked into the kitchen, shopping bags hanging from one arm while my hands were holding a pastry box.

“Guess what I got at the bakery?” I said as I gently laid the box on the counter and dropped the shopping bags on the floor.

“What?” my son Alex asked as he pulled the tape off the lid and peeked inside.

“Cranberry scones!” I looked inside the box with Alex and pointed to the sugar glazed tops of the perfect triangles of deliciousness. “Don't they look incredible!”

Alex shrugged his shoulders as he picked one up and took a bite. “Yuck...” he cried. “This is awful!” He opened the garbage drawer and spit it out.

“What are you doing!” I cried as I took the scone from him. “What's wrong with it?” I looked at the scone but couldn't see what the problem was.

“It tastes terrible.” He reached into the cabinet for a glass, filled it with water and took a drink. “It's like biting into a brick that falls apart in your mouth and leaves a funny aftertaste.” He took another sip of water. “Why do you have to buy fancy food?”

“Fancy food?” I broke off a little piece and tasted it. “It's delicious.” I cried. “The only thing that would make it better would be a little clotted cream.” I placed the scone on a napkin and began unpacking the grocery bags.

“Clotted cream!” Alex laughed. “Yeah that's not fancy.”

“What's the problem with fancy food?”

“Because it usually tastes terrible!” He pointed to the scone. “Why not just call it a stale biscuit with cranberries in it.”

I had to laugh. “Okay so you don't like scones, I get it.” I put some apples in a bowl and put them on the counter. “What other fancy foods don't you like.”

“That's easy, caviar!” He reached for an apple, rubbed it on his shirt, then took a bite. “Why not just call it disgusting fish eggs on a cracker?”

“Okay, I'm with you on the caviar. I'm not a big fan either.” I leaned back against the counter while he continued his rant.

“Don't even get me started on escargot!” He cried.

Now I was surprised. “You've tried escargot?”

“Are you kidding! No!” His body actually shook and he got a disgusted look on his face. “Once I saw a bunch of snails sitting on the plate I said 'Pass!'” He shook his head again. “Fancy food just stinks!”

My husband, Steven walked into the room. “What fancy food are you talking about?”

Alex pushed the pastry box over to him. “Mom got scones.”

“Oh,” Steven peeked in the box. “Scones aren't bad.” He broke off a piece and took a bite. “Yuck, these are terrible!” He grabbed a napkin and spit it out. “Tastes like a brick with cranberries in it!”

“Told you.” Alex said with a laugh.

“You two are ridiculous!' I said as I reached into another grocery bag and handed Alex a box of Twinkies. “These aren't fancy. Are they any better?”

Steven took the box from him. “They used to be really good when I was a kid.” He handed the box back to Alex. “Now, not so much.”

Alex took the box and put it in the cabinet. “They're still better then scones.”