REMOTE CONTROL HOARDER

“Okay, this is ridiculous!” I cried as I dumped several remote controls on the dining room table.

Steven was sitting at the table returning some e-mails on his phone. “Where did they come from?” He asked, looking at the pile I'd just put in front of him.

“I decided to clean out some drawers today and this is what I found!”

“Okay, so you found some old remotes.” He didn't seem impressed.

“Oh, I'm not done!” I cried as I went into the front hall and opened the drawer of the foyer table. “There's more in here!” I brought back several more to add to the pile.

Steven didn't even look up from his phone.

“I'm still not done.” I called as I headed into our bedroom. Opening the bedside table I pulled out even more then went back to dining room, adding them to the pile. “Why do we have all of these?”

Steven shrugged his shoulders. “We've owned a lot of electronics over the years.”

“That's your answer?” I was completely baffled. “So when we got rid of the old stuff, why didn't we throw out the remotes?”

Steven glanced at the pile. “Because I'm not sure which ones we've thrown away and what's up in the attic. It's just easier to keep them all in case we need one of them some day.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “You do know that's the mantra of every hoarder in the world.”

“We're not hoarders!” Steven seemed annoyed by the suggestion.

“Well, clearly we are when it comes to remotes.” I waved my hand over the pile I'd collected.

“Can we worry about this another time?” he asked looking back at his phone. “I really need to return this text.”

While he was busy with his text I was picking through the pile. “I don't even remember some of these.” I picked up a small one with the word Bose on it. “Did we ever have any Bose equipment?”

“That might have been your Mom's.” Steven said offhandedly. “I think she had a Bose radio.”

“So how did we wind up with it?”

Steven shrugged his shoulders. “Got me.”

I just shook my head. “So what do you want to do with all of these?”

“I don't have the time to go through them right now.” Steven put down his phone and looked at the pile I was picking through. “Maybe you could put them back and I'll check them out when I have more time.”

I had to laugh. “You just finished telling me you haven't had time in the past thirty years to go though them. I've finally cleaned out all the drawer in the house. I don't want to put them back.”

“Okay, well do you have a box or something you can put them in?”

“How about a garbage bag?” I asked.

“Sure.” Steven went back to his phone while I went and got a garbage bag and began tossing them in.

“Wait!” Steven put his phone down. “You're not throwing them away, are you?”

“Well, I was.” I admitted.

“I told you I'm not sure which ones we need.”

“Okay, fine.” I sighed. “I'll put the bag up in the attic.” I went over to the kitchen junk drawer and pulled out a marker and wrote: Dad's Collection on the bag. I smiled as I held it up for Steven to see. “Just to make sure everyone knows who the remote hoarder is in this house.”