KUDZU AND KINDNESS

My sister just moved to North Carolina and I'd come home from visiting her new house.

As I rolled my suitcase into the front door my husband Steven was there to greet me.

“So how was your trip?” he asked as he took my suitcase from me and brought it into the living room.

“Really nice!” I flopped down on the couch, putting my feet up on the coffee table. “I'm a little tired.” I looked over at him and smiled. “Remind me next time NOT to take the 6 AM flight out. I'm not a big fan of getting up at 3:30 in the morning.” I tried to hold back a yawn.

“Well, other then being tired, how was the rest of your trip?” Steven asked as he went into the kitchen and brought me back a bottle of water.

“Liz's house is beautiful. She's still putting on finishing touches, but she's loving it there!”

I took a sip of water. “When we were driving into her development I couldn't believe the amount of kudzu. It was like a blanket of green covering everything in it's path.”

“Oh, yeah. I remember that when we were down there visiting my sister, a few years ago.” Steven handed me a pillow.

I tucked it behind my head. “I know it's an invasive weed but it really is kind of fascinating watching how it just climbs over everything.”

Steven just laughed. “Only you'd find a weed fascinating.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I really do like it but I think I might have annoyed Liz because whenever we went out I became the kudzu spotter. Liz could be in the middle of a sentence and I'd be shouting KUDZU!”

“That does sound a little annoying.” Steven agreed.

“Well, the other thing I noticed was how kind and sweet everyone was.” I took another sip of water. “Wherever we went grocery store, garden center, or a restaurant everyone wanted to know how our day was.” I looked over at Steven. “They actually wanted to know how our day was going Steven! How often do you hear that around here?”

Steven shrugged his shoulders. “Every once in a while someone asks.”

“Not very often! Down there they ask all the time!”

Steven nodded in agreement.

“There was a woman at the counter of a convenience store that had a really pretty jacket on.” I moved the pillow so I could lay down on the couch. “Liz and I ended up walking out the door with her.” I reached over the back of the couch and grabbed the afghan that was folded there and pulled it over me. “ I told her how much I liked her jacket and do you know what she said?” I stifled another yawn.

“No, what?”

“She gave me a great big smile and told me about the trip she'd taken where she'd gotten the jacket.” I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. “I felt like I'd just made a new friend in the two minute walk to our car.” I couldn't help but smile. “That's what I took away from my trip to North Carolina.” I yawned. “Kudzu and kindness.”

Steven came over and adjusted the blanket over me. “That's nice.”

“It was nice.” I sighed closing my eyes.

“Maybe you could tell me about the rest of your trip after you wake up.” He suggested as he kissed the top of my head.

“Ah, bless your heart.” I said in my own unique Southern drawl before closing my eyes again.

ROGUE RECYCLERS

My son Alex and I were driving into our neighborhood when I noticed all the blue garbage cans lining the curb. “We have to remember to put the recycling out tonight.” I looked over at Alex. “Ours are overflowing!”

We drove past a middle-aged woman walking down her driveway clutching a small blue container to her chest. “Oh, come on!” I looked over at Alex again. “She can't be serious!”

“What are you talking about?” Alex looked over his shoulder while I watched in my side mirror as she gently set the small box down at the curb.

“She's pretending to recycle!” I cried. “The recycling truck comes around every two weeks! There's no way she has that little to bring out!”

Alex just shook his head. “Maybe she lives all alone and doesn't have much to bring out.”

I shook my head. “She doesn't live alone. There's two cars in the driveway. There's at least one other person living there.” I looked over at Alex as he looked back at me with a surprised look on his face. I shrugged my shoulder. “What can I say? I notice things, okay?”

“Well, at least she's putting out something, so she's trying.” Alex reasoned.

“Ugh! She's not trying! She's pretending!” I pointed to another small container we were passing, “So is this one!” I leaned over to peek inside. “Come on, one half gallon of milk, two water bottles, a few newspapers and one detergent container.” I looked over at Alex. “It's like they're staging for a play!”

“Could we keep going?” Alex asked as he nervously looked at the house we stopped in front of. “I really don't want them seeing us going over their recycling.”

“Oh!” I stepped on the gas. “Sorry about that.” I began driving down the road again. “But I just get so annoyed that I spend so much time rinsing out containers. Disgusting containers I might add.” I looked over at Alex. “Do you know how gross it is finding a container of sour cream in the back of the fridge that was a month old? Do you know how badly I just want to throw it in the trash?” I shook my head. “But no...I scrape that moldy yucky stuff out then rinse it until it's spotless before I toss it in the recycling bin.”

We were pulling into our driveway as Alex patted me on the shoulder before opening his door. “Well you should feel good knowing you're doing the right thing.”

We both walked around to the back of the house and I pulled out the first blue container from where we keep our garbage. I tipped it on its wheels and pulled it out of the way so Alex could grab the other recycling pail. “I can't believe how heavy this one is.” I complained as I lifted the lid and peeked inside.

“Maybe it's all the wine bottles that's making it so heavy.” Alex laughed.

“Hey! We had company the other day!” I cried. “Don't judge!”

“Not judging.” Alex said as we walked the cans to the street. “But the recycling guys might.”

I pushed my can against the curb. “Maybe I should leave a note on top of the can that says all of the wine bottles are because we had company.”

Alex laughed as we walked back up the driveway. “I'm sure they'd love a note like that to hang in they're break room!”

TICK TERROR

It was after dinner and my husband Steven and I were sitting on the back porch, watching the sun set and discussing what we'd done that day.

“The babies across the street are just starting to walk.” I said as I leaned back in my rocker. Our across the street neighbors had twins, a boy and a girl, a little over a year ago. “You had to see them outside with their parents!” I looked over at Steven as I picked up my glass of wine. “Those chubby little legs running around the side yard as they giggled at everything they saw! It was just so cute to watch.” I smiled as pictured the whole scene again in my head. “Remember those days?” I sighed.

“Like it was yesterday.” Steven said as he adjusted the pillow behind his back. “I used to love having the yard filled with kids running around laughing and playing.”

“It sure goes by quick, doesn't it?” I was watching a pair of house finches flying in and out of our birdhouse and could hear their babies chirping for food. “Looks like that Mom and Dad have their hands full.” I pointed to the birdhouse. “They've been flying in and out of their house ever since we sat down and the babies are still crying for more.”

Steven looked over at our bird feeders. “You might want to make their lives a little easier by filling our feeders.”

I looked over at our two empty feeders. “Wow! I could have sworn I just filled them yesterday!”

“I'm sure the deer have something to do with that.” Steven reached over and got his water bottle off the table. “Our woods are filled with them at dusk.”

“I know, but I just got the squirrel resistant feeders and I was hoping they'd stop the deer, too.” I put my glass of wine down and began getting up.

Steven shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe we just have really hungry birds then.”

I went inside to get the birdseed and get myself ready to fill the feeders before coming back out to the deck.

Steven looked over at me. “Why are you wearing those?” He was looking at my knee high rubber boots.

“That's what I wear when I fill the feeders.” I put down my bag of seed and began spraying my boots with the can of bug spray I'd also brought out. “Deet.” I said as I put the bug spray down and picked up the bag of birdseed. “Okay.” I took a deep breath. “I'm going out there!” I went out and filled the feeders then returned to the deck. Slipping out of my boots, I put the bag of birdseed down next to my rocker, sat down, and reached for my glass of wine. “Mission successful.” I took a sip of wine and watched as the birds began returning to the feeders.

“Do you dress like that every time you fill the feeders?”

“Sure do!” I put my glass back down. “If you've been bitten by ticks as many times as I have you'd be dressed like that too!” Even though I'd been treated each time I still dealt with some side effects from the bites.

“But you were just saying how cute the babies across the street looked as they ran around their side yard.” Steven looked confused.

“I was saying it reminded me of how cute it was when our boys were that age running around our yard. That was back in time when a tick bite was just a annoyance. Now it's a whole other world we live in.” I looked over at Steven. “Did you know the Lone Star tick will actually chase you down to bite you? It's not like they're just hanging on a leaf anymore and you accidentally brush by it. They actually chase you down!” I shuttered at the thought. “If our boys were babies right now, they'd never leave this deck!”

Steven just shook his head. “Well, I guess I'm grateful our boys got to have a real childhood without a tick-crazy Mom.”

I picked up my glass of wine and held it up. “I'll drink to that!”

POTTING BENCH ENVY

Alex and I were on a walk through our neighborhood when, halfway down the street, I stopped and pointed. “Wouldn't that look perfect in our backyard?”

Alex looked at the house I was pointing to. “What?”

“The potting bench!” I sighed. “I've always wanted one.”

Alex looked confused. “Why?”

I couldn't believe he couldn't see what I was seeing. “Because it's so cute!” I cried. “Oh, and very functional.” I added quickly.

The bench we were looking at sat at the edge of their driveway, tucked under the shade of an oak tree. The weather worn wood was the perfect shade of gray. The different sized pots were stacked on top of the table while a bag of new potting soil was tucked on a lower shelf next to a basket filled with gardening tools. “Can't you just see something like that next to our deck in the back?”

“Um....not really.” Alex stood looking at it for a moment before adding, “It kind of looks like they pulled a workbench out of the garage and forgot to drag it back in when they were done.”

“Oh come on!” I was surprised. “It does not!” I looked back at the bench, not seeing what he was seeing. “To me it looks like a family that likes being outside with nature!”

Alex just shook his head. “Exactly how much potting are you planning on doing?” Alex began walking again while I gave one last envious look before quickly catching up to him.

“Well, I need to replant all our indoor plants because they've grown out of their pots.” I began counting them up on my fingers. “So right off the bat I've got four, no five plants that need re-potting.”

“And?”

“Well, that's it for right now.” I admitted.

“So you want to buy a bench to re-pot five plants?”

“Well, that's not the point of the potting bench.” I argued. “You get a potting bench because it's a cute place for all your gardening things so you're all set up and ready when it's time to work in your garden.”

Now Alex looked confused. “But we don't have a garden.”

“Oh my gosh!” I cried getting frustrated. “That's still not the point!” I took a deep breath and tried again to explain. “I want one because I think it would look really cute next to our deck.”

By now we'd walked our usual two mile route and were almost back home.

“I didn't mean to get you upset.” Alex said. “Maybe I'm the wrong person to talk to about this. Why don't you talk to Dad?” he reached into his pocket to get out the keys as we walked up our driveway.

I stopped to pull a few weeds that were sticking up from our cobblestone driveway, proving to myself that I could garden, while Alex unlocked the front door.

He held the door open for me as I carried my fistful of weeds into the kitchen and tossed them in the trash. “Thanks for the walk.” I said as I went to the sink to wash my hands while Alex went to the cabinet to get a few bottles of water.

“Don't forget to drink some water.” he said as placed a bottle next to the sink.

Just then Steven walked into the kitchen. “You two have a nice walk?” he asked.

“We did!” I grabbed a paper towel and began drying my hands. “We were just talking about a really great potting beach we saw at one of the neighbors houses.”

“Oh?” Steven leaned against the counter.

“I was asking Alex if he thought something like that would look good by our back deck?”

Steven looked confused. “A potting bench? How much potting could you possibly do?”

“Oh come on! That's exactly what Alex said!” I looked over at Alex. “Did you say something to him?”

Alex smiled as he held up his hands and shook his head. “Hey, I walked in with you! Remember?”

PEN PROBLEM

I was at the dining room table balancing my checkbook when my son, Alex walked in. “Can I borrow your pen for a minute?” he asked.

I handed over my pen. Alex looked at it for a moment. “What's Affinia?” he asked.

“Oh, that's the hotel I stayed in with your Aunt Liz last weekend.” I was busy with my phone calculator as I crunched some numbers. “We had such a good time. It was a great hotel!”

Alex looked confused. “So you stole their pen?”

“Stole?” I stopped what I was doing and looked over at him. “I didn't steal it!” I cried. “They want you to take them. It's advertising for them!”

“Is that what you tell yourself?” Alex laughed as he wrote his return address on the envelope he was holding.

“No really!” I cried. “I'm serious! As a matter of fact, I collect pens.” I reached over to my purse and began rummaging around, finally pulling out several pens. “See!” I cried holding them out for him to see. “It's like a little keepsake from all places I've been.” I began going though them. “Here's are three different ones from the three different hotels I stayed in when Aunt Liz and I went to the Netherlands.” I smiled as I laid them down on the table. “Here's one from an MRI Imagining place.” I look at that a moment longer. “I don't remember ever going there.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Oh, well. I still have their pen!”

Alex just nodded his head as I put those aside and looked at the others.

“See this one's from my bank.” I held up the green pen. “They have buckets of them when you go in.” I looked over at Alex. “They wouldn't have buckets of them if they didn't want you to take one. Would they?” I argued.

Alex shrugged his shoulder, seeming to agree with that one.

“You know, a long time ago, banks used to have their pens tethered to a table so you couldn't steal...I mean borrow one if you wanted to.” I laid that pen down with the others. “I really think my bank made a genius marketing plan when they began giving the pens away!” I pulled three more of their pens from my fist and laid them on the table.

“You really like your bank, don't you?” Alex was shaking his head.

I shrugged my shoulder again. “I guess I'm there more than I thought.”

I was still going through my collection when I had another thought. “You know,” I looked back at Alex to see if he was still listening to me. “When a place doesn't want you to have a pen they find ways to let you know.”

Alex looked confused. “Really?”

I nodded my head. “I was at Motor Vehicles the other day, to renew my license, and they had pens with long paper tubes attached to them. They must have been two feet long! It wasn't like I could toss that in my purse!”

“That's because they don't want you to!”

“I know! I get it! I didn't want a pen from there anyway.” I shook my head. “It's not like anyone would want a keepsake to remember that place.” I gave a disgusted look.

“Why do you need so many pens?” Alex asked.

I looked at the pen that was still in his hand. “Because when people ask to borrow one I always have a spare.” I held out my hand. “Can I have my pen back please?”

“Can I keep this one?” Alex held on to the pen. “I don't have one in my room.”

I looked down at my pen pile and grabbed a green bank one. “Sure! But could you take this one instead?” I handed it to him as I took back the Affinia pen, looking at it lovingly. “This one has a great memory attached to it.”

SWEET TREATS

I was walking down the stairs following my son, Alex, as we headed to my office when I reached into my sweatshirt pocket and felt the familiar crinkle of a candy wrapper.

Pulling it out I offered it to him. “Would you like a hard candy?”

Alex stopped right in his tracks and turned around to look at me. He then looked down at the golden wrapped candy I held in my hand. “Did you actually just pull a hard candy out of your pocket?”

I was a little confused. “Yeah.” I looked at the candy. “It's wrapped. It's not like it has pocket lint on it or anything.”

“It's not that.” Alex shook his head. “But you do know that's something a little old lady would do?”

“What?” Now I was a little indignant. “I'm not old!”

“I didn't think so either until you started keeping hard candies in your pocket.”

I put the candy back in my pocket and felt the other two that were already in there. I decided not to mention those to him. “It's not just a hard candy!” I argued. “It's a Werther's Original! A delicious caramel treat!”

“It's a hard candy.” Alex repeated as he went into my office to help me with my computer. He sat down in my chair and began checking to see why my computer was running so slow. “Pretty soon you’re going to be wearing sweaters in the middle of summer.”

I looked down at my sweatshirt. “Okay, I'm wearing this because the air conditioning is always freezing in here! I don't go outside wearing it!”

“Ah-hum” Alex nodded as he scrolled through my computer. “I see a few cats coming your way soon.”

“Oh my gosh!” I cried. “I just wanted you to taste a really good candy one of my friends gave me!”

Alex turned the chair around to face me. “Did your friend pull the candy out of her sweater pocket?” His eyebrows were raised in a questioning look.

I thought back to when my friend and I were talking about our favorite candies and she'd been surprised that I'd never tried a Werther's. As I pictured our conversation I realized she had taken one out of her pocket. I looked at Alex and sighed, there was nothing I could say.

Alex just laughed. “If you and Dad aren't careful, old people ways are going to start sneaking in.”

“It was just a hard candy.” I sighed again.

“It starts with a hard candy and moves on to Dad wearing black socks with his sandals and having one of your cats curled up on his lap as he's waiting to have dinner at four in the afternoon.”

“You know we already eat dinner at four.” I reminded him. “You like eating that early.”

“That's my first dinner.” He began going to different sites on my computer. “So it's really like a late lunch for me.”

“Well, your Dad's allergic to cats so I don't think that one's coming.” I sighed as I pulled the candy out of my pocket and began unwrapping it. “But I'm telling you these are delicious!” I popped it in my mouth, then took the other two out of my pocket and tossed them on my desk. “But I'll stop carrying them in my pocket, okay?”

“That's a good start.” He picked up one of the candies from the desk, unwrapped and popped it in his mouth. After a few seconds he looked back at me. “These are pretty good.”

I just shook my head and laughed. “Do you know you drive me crazy?”

He got up from his chair. “Yup.” He kissed the top of my head. “You're computer's fixed.” he said as he headed out of my office.

“Thanks!” I called as I sat down to get some work done. I looked over at the golden candy wrappers laying on my desk. Maybe I'd get a bowl for them instead.

NATURE'S FIREWORKS

“Oh, come here little guy, you're never going to find your soul-mate inside.” I scooped the lightning bug off the dining room wall and headed to the kitchen door.

“Who are you talking to?” My husband, Steven asked as I passed him in the kitchen.

“This little guy.” I held out my cupped hands, letting him see the glowing light shining between my fingers. “Can you get the door for me?”

Steven opened the back door and we both stepped out on the deck. “Fly away little guy! She's out there somewhere!” I opened my hands and the beetle slowly crawled to the edge of my fingers then flew away to join all the other lighting bugs in our yard.

“Wow! There's a lot of them this year!” Steven said as he sat down to watch.

I sat down next to him. “They say we get more when we have a wet Spring.” I shook my head. “We sure had one of those!”

“Wet and cold!” Steven added.

“It felt like we never really had a Spring.” I got up and went inside to turn on the ceiling fan we have for the deck. Even though it was early evening it was still in the high 80's. “We just went right into Summer.” I added as I came back outside and sat back down.

“Well, the lightning bugs are certainly loving it!” Steven leaned back in his chair.

“Look at all those guys frantically flying around searching for a date!” I laughed as our yard was dotted with several dozen flickering lights.

Steven looked at me confused. “How do you know that all of those are males?”

“Because it's usually the males you see flying around looking for a mate. The girls just hang out passively waiting for one of the guys to impress her enough before she flashes back that she's interested.”

Steven just shook his head. “Some things never change, no matter what species you are.”

“What's that suppose to mean?” I cried.

“Oh, come on. How many times did I try and get you to ask me out to lunch?” Steven laughed.

“How many times did I have to tell you I wasn't going to be the one asking you out.” I leaned back in my rocking chair and looked over at him. “You'd had to ask me!”

Our son Alex came out on the deck. “What are you guys arguing about?”

“We're not arguing!” I said. “We're discussing. It's different.”

Alex sat down in a chair across from us. “Okay, what were you discussing, in a raised voice?”

“You're Mom's the one raising her voice. I'm just stating facts.” Steven explained.

“I'm not raising my voice!” I cried.

Alex and Steven looked over at me.

“Okay, maybe a little.” I looked over at Alex. “When we first met, your Dad tried to get me to ask him out instead of just asking me out!”

“You could have just asked me out.” Steven shrugged his shoulders.

Alex looked at the both of us. “Are you kidding me?” He laughed. “You two have been married for over 30 years!”

“32 to be exact.” Steven looked over at me and smiled.

“It'll be 33 in November.” I added.

“So what got you talking about who asked who out?” Alex asked.

“Lightning bugs.” Steven and I said in unison.

Alex just shook his head and got up from his chair. “Nope. Don't even want to know the rest of this one.” he said as he headed back into the house.

“Too bad for you!” I called after him. “It's a good story!”