GOING BATTY

“You're never going to believe what just happened to me.” I said trying to keep the sound of disgust out of my voice as I walked into the kitchen and dropped my keys on the counter top.

“What?” my husband, Steven asked. He was busy making himself a sandwich.

“Remember when I said I wanted to get a bat house for our woods in the backyard?” I grabbed a piece of deli cheese from the package as Steven stuck the knife in the mayonnaise jar and began spreading it on his sandwich.

“Yeah I remember.” he looked at me confused. “You were serious about getting one?”

“I sure was.” I got out of his way as he tried to open the drawer I was standing in front of to get a napkin. “I went into Lowe's and asked if they had any. You had to see the expression of the guys face when I asked! He scrunched up his nose and said “NO!” so quickly you'd have thought I'd just asked for a jar of bedbugs!”

Steven started to laugh as he took his plate with his sandwich and went to sit at the table to eat. “Maybe they don't carry them.”

“But they do!” I cried. “I told him that I saw online that they had them. I swear he almost did a complete body shutter as he went to the computer to look it up!”

“Did he find it on the computer?” Steven asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

“He never got the chance to look.” I complained. “When he went over to the computer station, another guy was standing there and he asked him if they carried them. That guy looked all disgusted and actually said, “Eewwww, NO!” Then they both just stared at me. I was so embarrassed.”

“So now you're not going to get one?” Steven asked.

“Oh, I'm getting one.” I said, I was determined not to let the disgusted looks from two salesman stop me.

That's when my son Alex walked in. “What are you getting?” he asked.

“A bat house.” Steven answered him.

Alex looked disgusted. “Why?”

“Because they can eat over a thousand mosquito’s in just one night.” I said. “They're nature's bug zapper!”

Alex just stared at me. “Are you serious?” he asked. “You're going to put a bat house in our back yard?”

“Of course I'm serious.” I said. “I think it's a great idea!”

Alex looked at Steven. “She's serious?”

Steven just shrugged his shoulders. “Looks like it.”

Now I was confused. “Don't you think it's a great idea?” I looked at Steven for some back-up on my great idea. When I didn't get any, I pushed ahead myself. “They'll help keep the mosquito population down so we can enjoy sitting on our back deck all summer.”

“So now were going to be the creepy people in the neighborhood with bats living in our yard?” Alex asked.

“It'll be one tiny little house!” I cried. “You won't even know it's there!”

“Oh, I'll know it's there.” Alex assured me as he looked at both of us. “I'll know.”

When he left the room I looked back at Steven. “He's never going to go in the yard again, is he?”

Steven shrugged his shoulders again. “I'm not making any bets on that one.”