SLEEPING SPIDER

It was first thing in the morning and I was running late but no matter how late it was, I needed to make our bed.

“So what's your day look like?” I asked my husband Steven as I pulled the sheets back into place.

“I'm running around all day in meetings.” he said as he grabbed a pair of socks and his shoes and sat down on the bench at the end of the bed.

“You home for dinner?” I pulled up the blanket and folded the sheet over it.

“I should be.”

I reached over and picked up a piece of black lint from the blanket before pulling up the comforter.

“Great!” I looked closer at the black piece of lint that was now in the palm of my hand. “Oh good Lord!” I began shuttering and hopping from one foot to the other. “Noooooo....” I cried as I dashed into the bathroom to flush it down the toilet.

“What's wrong?” Steven jumped up following me into the bathroom.

“Dead spider! Dead spider!” I held down the toilet handle and shuttered again as I watched it spin in the water before finally disappearing from sight. I couldn't seem to stop shuttering. “It was in our bed. More importantly it was on MY side of the bed!”

“But you said it was dead.” Steven walked back to the bench to put on his other shoe.

“I found it dead.” I reminded him as I followed him back into the bedroom. “It was alive during the night when it was walking over me.” I felt another shudder come over me. “I wonder if it bit me before it died.”

Steven looked over at me. “Did you notice a bite when you were taking a shower this morning.”

“No.” I admitted. “But I didn't know I was suppose to be looking for a bite.” I began feeling itchy all over. “Now I feel like I have bites all over me.”

Steven just shook his head. “It's your imagination.”

I went over to the bed and began pulling the sheets off.

“What are you doing?” Steven asked as I walked around him and began tugging on his side of the bed. “Didn't you just put those on the day before yesterday?”

“Are you kidding me!” I cried as I piled the blankets on the floor next to the bundled up sheets. “Everything has to get washed now or I'll never get to sleep tonight!” I got on my hands and knees and looked under the bed. “What if it's made a nest under here.”

“I think you're going a little overboard.” Steven tried to reason with me. “You know spiders come into the house in the fall. You're going to find a few of them over the next few weeks.”

“Around the house is fine.” I argued. “That's one of the reasons they invented tissues. It's an even fight. Sometimes the tissue wins and sometimes they get away.” Another involuntary shudder came over me. “But this one was in my bed.” I looked over at him. “While I was sleeping.” I cried. “It wasn't a fair fight.”

“What are you talking about?” Steven countered. “You rolled over on him and killed him. He never saw that coming.”

I'd been pulling my pillowcase off my pillow when that statement stopped me for a moment. “Well that's true.” I had to agree.

But then I thought about the dead spider resting in the palm of my hand only moments ago and I had to shake my head. “Nope! Spider in the bed, dead or alive means everything's got to get washed.” I added the pillowcase to the growing pile of laundry.

“Hey, fine by me.” Steven shrugged his shoulders. “I love Clean Sheet Night.”