SCOUTING FOR COOKIES

I had just gotten home from work and went right to the couch to lay down.

“Are you okay?” my husband Steven asked when he walked in and saw me laying there holding my stomach.

“I don't feel so good.” I whined.

Steven stepped back a few feet, “Are you getting that stomach bug that's been going around?” I could tell what he really wanted to do was cover his face with a mask and get the can of Lysol to spray me down.

“No, it's not the stomach bug.” I said unbuttoning the top button of my pants. “I just ate a whole sleeve of Do-Si-Do's on the way home from work.” I shook my head in disgust. “I do it every time it's Girl Scout cookie season.”

“The whole sleeve?” Steven said. “We only live ten minutes away from work! How can you eat that many?”

“What can I say?” I shrugged my shoulders. “I hit every traffic light.”

“How many boxes did you buy this year?” he asked.

I didn't want to answer that, so I just pointed to the filled shopping bag sitting on the table.

“Are you kidding me!” he began digging through the bag. “Thin mints, Samoas, Tagalongs and more Do-Si-Do's!” He dropped the boxes back in the bag. “How pathetic did this kid look for you to buy this many boxes!”

Now it was my turn to looked confused. “I didn't buy them from a kid.” I said. “I haven't seen a kid sell these in years. Unless, of course, you count the kids who hang out in front of the grocery stores. But by then I'm so sick of these cookies I just walk right by them.” I pointed to the bag. “I got these from one of my co-workers. They leave the order form on the break room table.” I shrugged my shoulders again. “I must have been hungry when I ordered.”

“You know these aren't even very good cookies.” Steven complained.

“I know.” I tried to sit up but my stomach still hurt. “It's because you can only get them once a year. It's marketing genius!”

By now our son, Alex walked in the room. “What's wrong with Mom?” he asked Steven as I laid there with my eyes closed and my hand still holding my stomach. “Is she sick?”

“I can hear you.” I said. “You can ask me directly.”

Steven decided to answer for me. “She ate too many Girl Scout cookies.”

“We have Girl Scout cookies?” Now Alex seemed interested. “Where are they?”

Steven pointed to the shopping bag. “Take your pick.” he said. “She bought enough to last the whole year.”

Alex and I started to laugh.

“You know they'll be gone by the weekend, don't you?” I said.

Alex opened a box of thin mints.

“Don't eat too many.” Steven warned. “You don't want to ruin your appetite for dinner.”

Now it was time for me to groan again. “I don't think I'm up to cooking anytime soon.”

Alex tucked the box of cookies under his arm. “This is fine for me.” he said as he headed back to his room.

“Great now there's not going to be any dinner?” Steven complained.

I handed him a box of Tagalongs.