SPIDER SQUASHING SKILLS

Dinner was done, the kitchen was clean and I was just about to sit down on the couch for the first time all day. But before I could even get into the living room I heard my son Alex call, “Mom, can you come here for a minute?”

At first it didn't sound like anything urgent so there was a split second that I thought about pretending I didn't hear him. But, he was persistent. “Mommmmm!” he called again “You've got to see this!”

I headed down the hall to where he was standing. “What?”

“Check it out.” he pointed to something on the wall.

As I got closer I finally saw the giant mosquito he was pointing to. “Wow, that thing is huge!” It had a three inch wing span.

“I know!”

“Let me go get a tissue.” I was about to go into the bathroom when Alex held one out for me. “I'm way ahead of you.” he said.

“Wait,” I took the tissue from him. “You were waiting for me to kill it?”

“You're better at it then I am.” he stood behind me.

“It's a mosquito.” I said as I grabbed the bug off the wall and headed to the bathroom to show him his new home. With a quick flush he was on his way. “I can't believe you had to call me to get rid of him.”

“I didn't have to call you.” he was headed back to his room. “We just all know how much you like bug catching.”

“What? Are you kidding me? Who ever said that?”

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “I don't know, it's just always been known.”

Shaking my head I went back to the living room to finally sit down and relax. I actually got a good hour of down time before I heard Steven calling, “Hey, I've got a huge spider for you!”

“Oh come on!” I yelled as I headed to the master bathroom. “Why can't anyone else get rid of the bugs around here!”

Steven was standing in the bathroom door way. “Look at the size of that one.” he was pointing towards the corner by the wastebasket. “It's a big one huh!”

I looked at him. “Why do you sound like you're giving me a present.”

“Because we all know how much you like bug hunting.”

“WHO STARTED THAT RUMOR?” I asked as I grabbed a tissue from the box on the sink and went in for the squish. “I hate bugs!” I moved the wastebasket and the spider spun around to face me.

Just then the lights went out. “WHAT!” I jumped back, picturing the spider using the dark opportunity to lunge for my face.

Steven was laughing as he turned the light back on. “I thought maybe you'd like more of a challenge.”

“Are you insane!” I turned around to see the giant spider headed my way. “Oh man, oh man, oh man.” I chanted as I scooped the spider up in the tissue and sent him to join the mosquito. I shuddered as I flushed the toilet.

“Update for all of you!” I called out to everyone in the house. “I DON'T LIKE BEING THE BUG SQUASHER!”

“You say that now,” Steven walked with me as I headed back to the couch. “But we all know you do.”