LEMONADE STAND

Alex and I were driving into our development when we both spotted the lemonade stand set up down the street. Two little girls, both holding signs, were waving and calling out to us.

“Should we stop?” I asked Alex.

“Sure, an open pitcher sitting out in the hot sun for who know how long sounds like a great plan.” Alex turned his head to me. I was pretty sure he was trying to avoid making eye contact with the girls as we drove past.

I took a quick glance at the pitcher and noticed that it was uncovered and that there was no ice floating in it. “Wow! You've got good eyes spotting that so far away.”

Alex shrugged.

“I just feel bad for them.” I said as I looked in the review mirror and saw their sad faces looking at our car driving away. “Remember how excited you were when you had your lemonade stand?”

Alex laughed. “When did I have a lemonade stand?”

“Are you kidding me?” I couldn't believe he'd forgotten. “It was in January and you set it up in our living room!”

Now Alex was really laughing. “January? Why did you let me do that in January?

Now it was my turn to be surprised. “Let you? Are you forgetting how determined you get when you get an idea?”

Alex nodded and shrugged his shoulders. “How old was I?”

I thought about it for a moment. “I'm going to say around three.”

Alex shook his head. “I must have needed some money for something.” He looked over at me again. “Did I get any customers?”

Now it was time for me to laugh. “You had plenty because while you were dragging your Little Tikes picnic table into the living room I was on the phone calling all our friends and neighbors to come over so you wouldn't be disappointed!” I looked over at him and smiled. “You looked so cute sitting at your table patiently waiting for your customers.”

“Thanks for making that happen, Mom.” He patted me on the shoulder. “I guess when you're three you don't think about a marketing plan, huh?”

I smiled as I pulled into our driveway and put the car in park. “Hey, that's what Mom's do.”

Alex was quiet for a moment. “Well, now I feel bad about not stopping at their stand.”

“I can fix that too!” I smiled as I put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway.

Alex laughed, then looked a bit concerned. “We don't have to really drink it do we?”

“Of course not.” I shook my head. “You just smile and say you're going to drink it in the car then we'll get rid of it when we come back home.”

Alex reached into his pocket and pulled out a few bills. “In that case it's on me!”

CLOVER FLOWERS

I was sitting on the back steps of my deck watching two bunnies nibbling away on some clover flowers when Steven came out and sat down next to me.

“Aren't they adorable?” I sighed as I pointed to the bunnies. “I just love watching their little faces scrunch up when they chew.”

Steven didn't answer so I looked over at him. He wasn't looking happy.

“Are you okay?”

“This was suppose to be a lawn!” He made a sweeping gesture with his arm. “Not a field of clover!”

“But I love the clover!” I argued. “It's beautiful!”

“Do you know how much money I've spent in the last year putting down sod and seed?” He was shaking his head in disgust.

“But look at the bunnies!” I cried. “They're so happy!”

“Yeah...the bunnies are happy.” he said in a monotone voice.

Just then a couple of chipmunks darted by. “See? They like running through the clover too!” I smiled over at him.

“They've also dug fifty holes in the lawn that I just spent a ton of money fixing!” he complained.

I decided to stop with the mammals and looked at the bees landing on the clover flowers. “See we're also helping the honeybees!” I looked over at him. “You can't deny that the honeybees could use all the help they can get right now.”

“They're not helping if I want to walk barefoot out in my yard.” he complained.

“Man, you're a tough sell.” I shook my head and watched everything else that was loving our clover but him. “Well, I think it's pretty.” I leaned back and watched a butterfly land next to the bunnies.
“They're still weeds in my expensive lawn.” he grumbled.

“Weeds or not I'm going to check and see if I can find any four-leafed ones.” I stood up, brushed the seat of my pants off and headed for the first patch of clover.

“Didn't my brother Donnie already explain to you that a four-leafed clover is nothing but a genetic defect in the roots of the plant?”

“Yup, and I explained to him that a genetic defect like that is nothing but good luck for me when I find one!” I bent down and began gently brushing my fingers through the clover. It wasn't long before I found one. “Yeah!” I gently pulled it out and held it up for Steven to see. “I just had a feeling there was one in this patch!”

Steven came down from the deck. “Wow, that was pretty fast.”

“Told you it was lucky!” I looked around our yard, a sea of white clover flowers. “I think our lawn is beautiful.”

Steven shook his head. “Well, I guess if you're happy with it I can try and start to like it too.”

“That's what I'm talking about!” I handed him the four-leafed clover and bent down to find another one.

“But I still can't believe how much money I spent...”

“Nope.” I interrupted him as I scanned the patch of clover for another one. “You're negativity is messing with my luck meter right now.”

Steven laughed as he headed back to the deck. “Luck meter.” he mumbled.

That's why I'm sure he was surprised when I called out, “I found another one!”

OIL CHANGE THERAPY

I was having a busy errand day, and one of my stops was an oil change for my car. The sign in front of the garage promised it would take only twenty minutes, and I was counting on them to keep that promise as I handed my keys to the mechanic.

I went into the tiny waiting room and noticed another woman sitting next to the magazine table. We did the customary smile-and-nod to one another before I found a magazine I wanted and sat down to catch up on which movie star was breaking up with whom.

I'd only been there for a few minutes when the waiting room door opened and a gentleman walked in, sat down and asked, “Do either of your ladies watch Dr. Phil?”

I peeked over my magazine to see which of us he was talking to. Luckily it was the other woman, so I brought my magazine back up to cover my face.

“I watch him every once in a while.” she admitted.

“Well, he's the reason my girlfriend broke up with me.” he complained as he moved a chair closer to his new confidant.

“Oh, I'm sorry.” she answered.

Now I have to admit their conversation was more entertaining then the three month old magazine I was holding, so I continued to eavesdrop, my eyes peeked over the top of my magazine.

“Why do you think Dr. Phil had anything to do with it?” she asked.

“Because she watches that show every day and whatever he says, she does.” he shook his head sadly. “He must have been talking about the kind of relationship we had because she broke up with me that very night.”

“Maybe it wasn't about Dr. Phil.” she sounded as if she wanted to help him.

“So you think it was something I said?” He sounded confused. “Because I'm not a real big talker, so how could I say anything that would have upset her?”

I was still peeking over my magazine and could see him shaking his head disgust. “Man, I hate that Dr. Phil guy.”

He looked my way and noticed I was peeking over at him. “Would you let some guy on the television tell you what to do?” he asked me.

I looked over at the other woman hoping for some help, but she was looking at the mechanic who had come into the waiting room holding her keys.

“Your car is ready.” he said, handing her the bill.

She gave a sigh of relief as she grabbed the bill out of his hand and ran to pay the cashier, leaving me alone with In-Need-Of-Therapy-Man.

“So would you?” he asked again.

“I'm sorry,” I looked back at him. “Would I what?”

“Would you let some guy on the T.V tell you what to do?”

“Well, no.” I put my magazine down. “I'd make up my own mind. But I really don't know what your girlfriend would do.”

“EX!” he said a bit too loudly.

“I'm sorry. I meant to say your ex.”

“I thought all you girls listened to Dr. Phil.” he shook his head again. “Or do you watch some other stupid talk show instead?”

I was beginning to see why his girlfriend broke up with him as I longingly looked at the waiting room door, wishing the mechanic would come in and save me too.

MIND GAMES

“It's happening!” I cried. “This is the second time today that I forgot where I put my car keys!”

I was searching the counter tops moving canisters and the toaster, but not finding them.

“Aren't they in the basket?” Steven asked as he came into the kitchen to help me.

I held out the empty basket where the keys were usually kept. “Nope.”

“Where did you have them last?” he asked.

I thought about it for a minute. “Well, I had to have them when I came in from grocery shopping.” I reasoned.

Steven looked out the front window. “Maybe you left them in the car?”

I shook my head. “No, because I had to unlock the front door to bring the groceries in.” I kept searching the counter top.

Steven had gone to the front door. “Found them!” he called.

“Oh great!” I went to the front hall, thinking that I'd dropped them on the table in the entry hall.

Steven was standing with the front door open, pointing to my keys hanging from the lock.

“Oh, come on!” I reached over and pulled them out of the lock. “Who does that?”

“You.” Steven laughed as he closed the door.

“I'm serious, Steven. I'm having way too many senior moments.” I tossed the keys in the basket on the counter.

Steven shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe you need to exercise your brain?”

“What?” I laughed. “Constant worry isn't exercising it enough?”

Steven laughed as he opened the refrigerator, took the container of pineapple out, grabbed a fork from the drawer and stabbed a chunk from the container. “That's why I do crossword puzzles.” He popped a piece in his mouth.

“I hate crossword puzzles.” I grumbled. “I can never seem to finish one.”

“They aren’t the only brain games.” he reminded me.

“I know, I tried Sudoku but that was a giant fail!”

“What about search-a-word?” he stabbed another piece.

“I thought those were for kids?” I leaned against the counter and took the fork from him, stabbing my own piece of pineapple and popping it in my mouth before handing him back the fork.

“They make them for adults.”

I shook my head, I wasn't feeling the search-a-word angle.

“You could learn a new language?” he suggested.

“I barley passed Spanish in high school.” I complained.

“Learn an instrument?”

“Started the ukulele.” Shook my head. “Lost interest.” I said sadly.

Steven tossed the fork in the sink and went to put the pineapple back in the refrigerator. “I don't know what to tell you?” he leaned back against the counter. “Oh, by the way, do you know where my blue suit is?”

“It's in the downstairs closet, left hand side, still in the dry cleaners bag.” I was a little confused. “Why do you need your suit?”

“I don't need it.” He said with a laugh as he walked pass me and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “But now you know you still have a great memory.”  

SQUIRREL STANDOFF

I was sitting on my back deck, bouncing back and forth between feeling annoyed and resigned, while I watched a squirrel hanging upside down on my bird feeder. “How long can he do that?” I asked Steven, who was sitting next to me.

“What?” Steven looked up from his newspaper.

I pointed to the upside down squirrel. “He's been hanging like that for almost twenty minutes.”

Steven shrugged his shoulders.

“You'd think he'd feel like his head was about to explode!”

“It doesn't seem to be bothering him.” Steven went back to reading his paper.

“It's bothering me.” I grumbled. “He looks like he practicing to go on the Ninja Warrior obstacle course.” I was staring at the squirrel whose legs and arms were tightly wrapped around the cylinder bird feeder. He slowly turned his head and looked at me before going back to eating the seeds. “You know. Where the contestants wrap themselves around the giant log and it spins really fast, trying to knock them off.”

“Uh-hum.” Steven said, but when I looked over I could tell he wasn't really listening.

“He'd win.” I grumbled.

“Uh-hum.”

“You're not even listening to me.” I cried.

“I am.” Steven put his newspaper down. “You hate squirrels. I've got it.”

“I don't hate squirrels.” I corrected. “I just don't like when they eat out of the bird feeders.” I pointed to all the birds sitting on the tree branches waiting for the squirrel to leave. “I wouldn't even mind if he just took turns. But he'll hang upside down, eating until the feeder's empty!” I looked over at Steven. “How's that fair?”

“Oh, you want a fair squirrel?” Steven began looking at his phone. I assumed he'd gotten a business e-mail so I went back to staring at the squirrel, hoping he'd finally do the right thing and leave.

Just then my phone pinged. Picking it up I could see it was a text from Steven. I looked over at him. “Why are you texting me? I'm sitting right next to you!”

“Just open it.” he said, then smiled.

I opened the text and it was a picture of a tiny Adirondack chair hanging from the side of a tree with a squirrel sitting on it, eating a ear of corn. I held the phone up to Steven. “Are you kidding me? You want me to get a squirrel feeder?”

“No, but if you want him to stay away from the bird feeders it might be the only solution.” Steven looked over at the upside-down squirrel. “Do you really think he's enjoying his meal?” He pointed over to my phone. “Of course he'd rather be lounging in a chair when he eats.”

I thought about it for a moment. “Nope. Not hanging a tiny chair on a tree.” I shook my head no.

Steven shrugged his shoulders. “Well, then I'd get used to Rocky over there eating all your bird seed.”

It was right at that moment the squirrel did a little back-flip, landed on the ground and scurried away.

Steven pointed to the now empty feeder. “It looks like you'll need to refill that.”

I sighed then looked back at my phone. “The little chairs are kind of cute.” I admitted as I began scrolling through the site. “I wonder if they come in different colors?”