TURKEY TROUBLE

I was at work, getting ready to go on my lunch break, when my phone pinged that I had a message. Pulling it out of my pocket and saw that my son Alex had sent me a photo of a turkey followed by several surprised looking emoji's.

I was completely confused until I realized the picture was taken in our yard. The three foot bird was sitting on our neighbor's chain link fence next to where we stored our garbage pails.

As I was walking to the break room I called Alex. “Are you kidding me!” I cried when he answered.

“I know, pretty weird huh?”

“Is it still there?”

“Yup.”

“You've got to get rid of him!” I cried. “I don't want them in the yard!”

For some strange reason turkeys showed up in our neighborhood the year before, but they'd been staying further down the street and hadn't venture any closer to us...that is until today.

“Why get rid of him?” Alex questioned. “It's so close to Thanksgiving I think it's kind of fun to have our very own turkey living with us! So, what do you think they like to eat?” he asked. “Because I gave him some birdseed but he doesn't seem interested.”

“WHAT!” I cried. “You fed him!”

` “Well, technically no, because he didn't like the seed.” I could hear him opening and closing cabinets. “You're really good about what the wildlife like to eat around here. Do you think I should cut up an apple or maybe throw out a handful of nuts?”

“Oh my gosh, DON'T FEED HIM!” I cried. “Do you know how aggressive they can get? I don't want to become a prisoner in my own home when mating season starts!” I was trying to figure out a way for him to collect the birdseed he'd already thrown without getting hurt. I took a deep breath before I started telling him my plan. “Okay listen, I need you to get the broom and go outside swinging it around until you chase him off.”

But before I could finish Alex started to laugh.

Now I was confused. “What's so funny?” I asked.

“You're killing me here!” he cried.

I wasn't sure what he was talking about but I decided that maybe I should approach the dilemma in a calmer voice. “Okay, I know it sounds scary chasing a turkey away but we can't have him coming around.” I explained.

Alex couldn't stop laughing. “Do you really think I'd feed a turkey?” he cried. “I don't like when you feed the chipmunks because they come up on the deck. They're only a few feedings away from coming into the house.”

“They are not!” I argued.

“Really, because one is on the deck right now looking at me while he eats whatever it is you left out there for him!”

“I haven't fed the chipmunks in months.” I cried.

“Okay, so whatever he got from the woods he's decided to enjoy eating it on our table.”

That was the reason I'd stopped feeding them. “Hey, they were cute when they were scampering in the yard but I have to agree with you, I don't want them on the deck either.” I sighed. “But getting back to the turkey, is he still on the fence?”

“Naw...he left right after I took his picture.” he admitted. “I just thought it would be funny to hear what you'd have to say after I sent it to you.”

Now it was my turn to laugh. “Well, I hope I didn't disappoint you.”

“Nope, you never do.”