SPRING HAS SPRUNG?

Alex and I headed out the front door for a walk around the neighborhood, “Can you believe it's only February and we're wearing sweatshirts?” I was thrilled to have my winter coat hanging in the closet while we went for our walk.

“It is nice.” Alex agreed as he stopped to retie his sneaker.

I looked over at the side of our house. “Oh my gosh! Look!” I cried as I pointed to leaves popping through the soil. “The daffodils are already coming up!” I had to go over to take a closer look.

Kneeling down I moved a few forgotten fall leaves away from them. “I'm loving this! Aren't you?” I looked over at Alex waiting for him to share the same excitement that I was feeling.

Alex shrugged his shoulders. “I guess it's nice.”

“You guess?” I got up and we headed out for our walk. The sun was shining and the birds were calling to one another when I looked up in the trees. “I'm not seeing any buds on the trees yet.”

“That's because it February.” Alex reminded me.

“I know, but it feels like spring!” I felt like doing a happy dance, but I held back so I wouldn't embarrass Alex.

“We could still get a snowstorm you know.” Alex reminded me.

I wanted to put both hands over my ears and chant “LA, LA, LA!” to stop from hearing his horrible words but I decided to take the mature way of stopping him. “Why aren't you enjoying this day as much as I am?”

“I am enjoying today!” Alex countered. “But I also realize we're still in winter and the weather is going to change.”

“But it might not.” I argued. We'd stopped at the corner and were waiting for a car to pass before we could cross the street. As the car passed we could hear to music blaring from it's open windows. “See,” I looked over at Alex pointing at the car. “I'm in such a good mood that even though that's not my favorite type of music I'm still thrilled to hear it because that's another sign of spring!”

Alex just laughed as we crossed the street and continued our walk.

“More daffodils.” I pointed to a bunch peeking out from under a bush.

“Uh-huh.”

A few feet later, “There's some more!” I cried looking over at Alex who nodded in agreement.

I was busy looking for more signs of spring when I noticed a small pile of dirty snow in the shady section of someone's driveway. “Oh man...do you know how badly I want to go over there and stomp that snow pile to mush?”

Alex looked over at the snow I was pointing to. “I know, I kicked the leftover snow from our deck this morning.”

“You did?” I looked over at him and smiled.

“Sure. I'm tired of looking at the snow too.”

“So, you're just as ready for Spring to start as I am!”

“I am, but I'll say it again.” Alex looked over at me with a serious look on his face. “It's only February and weather changes.”

Now I had to do it, I covered my ears with the palms of my hands and chanted, “LA, LA, LA, LA, LA!”

FENG SHUI FAIL

Steven walked into the living room where I was skimming through a small turquoise colored book I'd just purchased. “Feng Shui?” he asked reading the cover of the book.

I looked up and smiled. “Isn't it great! I just wanted to check and see how our house rates in this.”

Steven looked around. “I think our house looks great just the way it is.”

“I do too.” I pointed to the title of the book to prove my point, “But there's always room for improvement, right?”

Steven shrugged his shoulders as he went into the kitchen.

“Oh no!” I cried. “I've found our first problem!”

Steven stuck his head around the corner. “What?”

“It's our entrance hall.” I looked over him. “It says if you can see your back door from your front door any good luck that comes into the house goes right back out the other door!”

Steven didn't look impressed. “We're not moving doors.”

“I know.” I looked back down at my book. “I'm just saying it's a little unsettling.”

Steven went back into the kitchen.

“Oh great, here's another problem!” I called out.

“What's this one?”

“It says if you can see your dining room from your living room you'll always be thinking about food and not each other!”

“It's called an open floor plan.”

“I know what it's called.” I could hear him opening the silverware drawer. “What are you making?”

“A sandwich, do you want one?”

“Well, I wasn't hungry until I looked at the dining room table.” I shook my head in disgust. “But now all I can think about are the donuts I bought yesterday.”

Steven came out holding the empty box. “The boys already beat you to them.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess it's for the best.” I kept flipping through the pages. “Oh great, even the color we've painted the walls is all wrong!”

“Oh come on!” Steven called. “What's wrong with the color?”

“In Feng Shui it's all about the opposites.” I began reading from the book, “It's says that because gray is neither black or white but a murky combination of the two it means we have something to hide.” I dropped the book on the couch and went into the kitchen, leaned against the counter and watched Steven finish making his sandwich. “So according to Feng Shui we're doomed to be a bunch of unlucky, fat, secret keepers!” I sighed.

Steven just laughed as put his sandwich on a plate and walked over to the table.

“Oh, that reminds me!” I said perking up a bit. “I hid some of my Valentine candy in the back of the cabinet so the boys wouldn't find it!” I went over to the cabinet, pulled out one of the drawers, moved some cans of soup, and found my small heart shaped box tucked behind them. Opening the lid I had to sigh. “They found it.” I held up the empty box for Steven to see.

“So our house isn't a Feng Shui fail after all.” Steven took another bite of his sandwich.

Now I was confused.“How do you figure that?” I tossed the empty box into the garbage and sat down next to him at the table.

“Well, it seems you can't keep a secret from the boys because they found your candy so, you won't be complaining that you put on any weight from eating it, right?” He looked over at me and smiled. “I think that's pretty lucky, don't you?”

DRESSING ROOM SPOTTER

I came into the house tossed my shopping bag on the couch and plopped down next to it. “Worst shopping trip ever!” I cried as Steven came into the room.

Steven looked at the bag. “Well, it couldn't have been too bad, it looks like you bought something.”

I looked at the bag. “I did find two shirts.” I admitted. “But that's not the reason it was a horrible shopping trip.” I rubbed my my still sore shoulder.

Steven looked confused. “What happened?”

“I'm almost embarrassed to say.” I rubbed my still sore neck.

Steven looked even more confused. “So...”

“I got stuck in the fitting room.”

“You mean the door got jammed?”

“No, I mean I got stuck in a piece of clothing and couldn't get it off!”

“What?”

“I'm serious!” I cried. “Now I know why so many people go shopping together! Its so you can have a dressing room spotter!”

Steven started to laugh.

“It's not funny! I was actually starting to panic when I couldn't get the thing over my head! My shoulder and neck still hurt.” I rubbed my shoulder again and turned my neck back and forth to prove my point.

“How do you get stuck in a piece of clothing?” Steven was still smiling, but was trying to show some sympathy.

“Well, you know how much I hate to shop. So when I do finally go I take as many things into the fitting room as possible.” I looked over at Steven. “I only give the dressing room ordeal one shot. If I don't find it in the first group of clothes I give up and go home.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Steven just shook his head.

“So while I was wandering around the store looking for shirts I saw a new type of body shaper. I thought I'd try on.”

“And...”

“Well, I got it on. But it felt like I'd just put on a wet suit! It was some weird material, and it looked horrible, so I decided it was going in the reject pile. But when I tried and take it off I could only get it up to my shoulders.” I looked at Steven and shook my head. “You had to see me. I was standing there with one arm over the top of my head stuck in that thing! It wouldn't budge!”

Steven started to smile.

“It's not funny! I was panicking! I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to call out for help and have some stranger come in to pull it off of me!” I closed my eyes for a moment trying to erase the image from my mind.

“So how did you get it off?”

“I stood there with my arm stuck over my head, doing deep breathing to try and calm myself down.” I looked over at Steven. “Which, by the way, is pretty hard to do when you're standing in front of a three way mirror and can actually see how pathetic you look.”

I could see Steven trying to stifle his smile.

“I finally calmed myself down enough that I slowly wiggled it over my head. It looked like I was doing a magic act, escaping from a straight jacket!” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I looked over at Steven. “I swear the next time I go shopping someone better come with me to be my spotter!”

Steven didn't look thrilled. “I don't think anyone would appreciate me going into the ladies dressing room with you.”

Now I was confused. “I wasn't talking about you coming in with me.”

“Oh, good.” he patted my leg as he got up from the couch. “Because I hate shopping as much as you do!”

DINNER FOR TWO

Steven came into the kitchen, “Something sure smells good!” he leaned over my shoulder to see what was cooking.

“The roast has been in the oven since three.” I lifted the lid and peeked into the pot. “These potatoes should be ready to mash in a few minutes. Then I'll make some gravy from the drippings and a green salad and dinner will be ready!”

“Sounds good to me.” Steven went over to the cabinet. “I'll set the table for us.” He pulled two plates out and headed for the table.

“Why are you only putting out two plates?” I asked. “Aren't the boys eating with us?”

“They both told me they were going out.”

“Are you kidding me!”

“No.” Steven shrugged his shoulders. “I thought they told you.”

“Well they didn't!” I looked back at the stove. “I've been cooking all afternoon and nobody's going to be eating?”