DON'T EAT THAT!

I walked out into the kitchen to find my son Max with a brick of cheddar cheese in one hand and a knife in the other. He'd just sliced a piece off and was ready to pop it into his mouth.

“DON'T EAT THAT!” I screamed. “That's for the fruit and cheese platter I'm serving our company tomorrow!”

“Fruit and cheese?” he asked. “I'm thinking the grapes I just ate were for that too, huh?”

“Oh come on!” I cried. “Of course those things are for company. When do we ever have bricks of cheese laying around?”

“I know!” Max complained. “Everybody in this house likes cheese and you only buy it when we're going to have company.”

“So if you know that why are you eating it?” I asked.

Another slice of cheese was halfway to his mouth when he stopped. He was caught, but he wasn't going down without a fight. “If you know how much we like it why don't you buy extra so you won't get mad when we open the package.” he countered.

“Because I've already tried that and you just eat two bricks of cheese instead of the one.” I answered.

“I do like cheese.” Max said in his defense.

Just then my husband Steven came into the kitchen. “What's all the yelling about?” he asked.

“I'm eating cheese.” Max said popping another piece in his mouth.

“STOP EATING THAT!” I yelled, then looked over at Steven “I was saving that for our company tomorrow.” I explained.

“You're going to have to go out and get more cheese now anyway.” Max reasoned. “So why can't I have this one?”

“He got a point.” Steven said as he shrugged his shoulders.

I looked at Steven, ready to hurt him too. “Because I wasn't planning on going to the grocery store again.” I complained. “Today was clean-the-house-to-get-ready-for-company day.”

I'm pretty sure the look on my face said plenty because it wasn't more than a moment before Steven suggested, “Why don't I run to the store for you?”

“Good idea.” Max said, popping another piece of cheese into his mouth. “You might want to get some more grapes too.”

“Make a list.” Steven said as he picked up the car keys. “You're coming with me Max.”

“Why do I have to come?” Max asked.

I'd already grabbed a paper and pen and had opened the refrigerator to do a quick inventory. “You ate the whipped cream too!” I cried. “What did you do, dip the grapes in it?” I asked.

“No.” Max looked confused. “I ate it by the spoonful. That stuffs good.”

“I can't believe you!” I slammed the refrigerator door closed and began going through the pantry.

“Where's the box of crackers I just bought.” I turned to stare at Max.

“Don't look at me!” he cried. “I didn't even know we had crackers.”

That's when my other son, Alex walked into the kitchen with his hand in the box of crackers that was tucked under his arm.

“Are you kidding me!” I took the box from him and shook it. “It's almost empty!”

Alex looked confused. “They weren't for us to eat?” he asked.

“They're for company.” Steven and Max said in unison.

Alex looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. “Sorry. I was hungry and that's all I could find to eat.”

“Maybe you should come with us.” Steven said as he took the list from me.

“Where are you going?”

“To the store.” Max said, then looked at me as I just stared at the three of them. “If any of us stays here I'm pretty sure she's going to explode.”

“I'll get my shoes.” Alex said as he backed out of the kitchen.