LEFT OR RIGHT

I had gone for a weekend visit to my sister Donna's. She lived about and hour and a half away. While I was there she had my nephew put a new navigation app on my phone. “Just try it.” she said as I looked at her in doubt.

“It's easier than the other ones.” my nephew agreed.

“I promise.” Donna added.

Now, I've been having an ongoing fight with navigation systems for years. They always make me feel as if I'm too stupid to even get out of my own neighborhood. The condescending voice telling to make a left out of my own driveway, even though I knew it was shorter to go right. Then when I went right it would actually sound angry as it tried to get me to go around the block and start again. Needless to say I ended up fighting with every app I tried and would always end up turning it off and using the written directions I'd mapped out myself.

So I reluctantly agreed I'd try this new app on my way home from my sister's.

Climbing in the car I tapped on the app and typed in my home address. A few seconds later a pleasant sounding woman said, “Okay, let's get started, shall we.”

I have to say, I was a bit surprised. I'd never had a system that made it sound like we were taking a ride together, they usually just barked orders at me.

I decided I needed to name my new friend. “Sure, Sabrina. Let's get started.”

About a mile down the road Sabrina said to turn left at the next intersection. Now my written directions said to go straight so I was hesitate to do what Sabrina was suggesting. I slowed down a bit debating what to do . Sabrina must have sensed my unease because she nicely repeated the direction.

I turned on my left turn signal. “Okay, Sabrina.” I said. “I'm going to trust you.”

Now the way Sabrina wanted to go was taking me up a very steep grade, my car straining as it tried to climb the mountain. “I'm sure you didn't know my car was older, Sabrina so this isn't really your fault but if my engine blows up I'm going to be really upset!”

A moment later Sabrina sounded an alarm. “Police car ahead.” she said. I quickly looked around and there was a police car tucked on the side of the road.

“Sabrina!” I cried. “Thank you!” Even though I wasn't speeding I was surprised she knew where they were.

Seconds later another alarm sounded. “Disabled car on side of road.” she said.

Moments later I passed a car changing a flat tire. “Sabrina, I think I finally found a navigation app I can live with!”

We drove along, Sabrina and I, enjoying the ride and each others company. That is until she wanted me to take the Turnpike instead of the Parkway.

“But I like the Parkway better.” I said as she directed me to the Turnpike exit. I ignored her and continued to the Parkway.

I was punished with bumper to bumper traffic. As I inched along for a good half hour Sabrina suggested turning onto Route 9.

I was unsure, but she'd been right so many times I needed to just trust her. So I got on Route 9.

“Exit on the right, Freehold.” she commanded.

“Freehold!” I cried. “But I want to go towards the shore!” I ignored her once again.

She then became relentless. Each intersection I was told to make the turn as she tried to get me to go back.

We argued the rest of the way home.

Each time she told me to do something I just say “No.”

As I pulled into my driveway Sabrina sweetly told me I'd reached my destination, like she had something to do with it!

Steven saw my car pull in and met me at the door. “How was your trip?” he asked.

“Sabrina is an idiot and I never want to ride with her again!” I said.

Steven looked confused as he looked at me then at my empty car.

“It's a long story.” I said taking a deep breath and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“It always is.” he said opening the front door and taking my suitcase from me.