DRESSING ROOM SPOTTER

I came into the house tossed my shopping bag on the couch and plopped down next to it. “Worst shopping trip ever!” I cried as Steven came into the room.

Steven looked at the bag. “Well, it couldn't have been too bad, it looks like you bought something.”

I looked at the bag. “I did find two shirts.” I admitted. “But that's not the reason it was a horrible shopping trip.” I rubbed my my still sore shoulder.

Steven looked confused. “What happened?”

“I'm almost embarrassed to say.” I rubbed my still sore neck.

Steven looked even more confused. “So...”

“I got stuck in the fitting room.”

“You mean the door got jammed?”

“No, I mean I got stuck in a piece of clothing and couldn't get it off!”

“What?”

“I'm serious!” I cried. “Now I know why so many people go shopping together! Its so you can have a dressing room spotter!”

Steven started to laugh.

“It's not funny! I was actually starting to panic when I couldn't get the thing over my head! My shoulder and neck still hurt.” I rubbed my shoulder again and turned my neck back and forth to prove my point.

“How do you get stuck in a piece of clothing?” Steven was still smiling, but was trying to show some sympathy.

“Well, you know how much I hate to shop. So when I do finally go I take as many things into the fitting room as possible.” I looked over at Steven. “I only give the dressing room ordeal one shot. If I don't find it in the first group of clothes I give up and go home.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Steven just shook his head.

“So while I was wandering around the store looking for shirts I saw a new type of body shaper. I thought I'd try on.”

“And...”

“Well, I got it on. But it felt like I'd just put on a wet suit! It was some weird material, and it looked horrible, so I decided it was going in the reject pile. But when I tried and take it off I could only get it up to my shoulders.” I looked at Steven and shook my head. “You had to see me. I was standing there with one arm over the top of my head stuck in that thing! It wouldn't budge!”

Steven started to smile.

“It's not funny! I was panicking! I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to call out for help and have some stranger come in to pull it off of me!” I closed my eyes for a moment trying to erase the image from my mind.

“So how did you get it off?”

“I stood there with my arm stuck over my head, doing deep breathing to try and calm myself down.” I looked over at Steven. “Which, by the way, is pretty hard to do when you're standing in front of a three way mirror and can actually see how pathetic you look.”

I could see Steven trying to stifle his smile.

“I finally calmed myself down enough that I slowly wiggled it over my head. It looked like I was doing a magic act, escaping from a straight jacket!” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I looked over at Steven. “I swear the next time I go shopping someone better come with me to be my spotter!”

Steven didn't look thrilled. “I don't think anyone would appreciate me going into the ladies dressing room with you.”

Now I was confused. “I wasn't talking about you coming in with me.”

“Oh, good.” he patted my leg as he got up from the couch. “Because I hate shopping as much as you do!”