CLOSET PURGE

I'd been complaining for a very long time that I never seemed to have anything to wear, even though my closet was jammed with clothes. So...it was finally time. I opened the closet and began pulling out the unwanted, unloved, and let's face it unwearable.

The first thing I pulled out was a maxi dress I'd loved. “I'm going to miss you.” I said as I dropped it on the floor making it my first on the give-away pile. No one had worn that style dress for a few years, but I'd been holding on because, well, it had looked good on me and I was hoping against hope that it would come back into fashion. “I'm sure you'll find a good home somewhere else.” I assured it as I turned back to my closet.

The next item I grabbed was a beautiful black blazer. “Why haven't I worn you?” I asked as I held it up to admire the cut. “You're a classic!” I checked the size. “Perfect!” I was excited.

That's when my husband Steven walked in. “What are you up to?” he asked as I held up the blazer for him to see. “This is the reason I decided it was time to clean out the closet! Look what I just found!” I cried as I slipped it off the hanger and put it on. “It's still fits!” I said as I spun around to show him.

“Wow! I haven't seen shoulder pads that big in years!” he said.

I turned to face the mirror to see what he was talking about. I sighed, feeling the disappointment of losing a perfectly good piece of clothing. “I look like I should be playing football.” I said as I tried pushing the shoulder pads down, somehow trying to crush them.

Steven shook his head. “There's no way you're going to make them any smaller.” he said.

I took it off and threw it in the pile.

Now I felt like I was on a roll. Shirts I hadn't worn in years were thrown on the pile, no need to even try them on.

“I heard one way to check that you haven't worn something for a while is to turn the hangers backwards. Then in six months, with just a quick glance, you can tell what you haven't worn.” I began turning the hangers.

“You can't just look at something and tell you haven't worn it?” Steven asked.

“Well, yeah.” I said as I shrugged my shoulders. “But I read about this in a magazine and I thought it was worth a try.”

Steven just laughed and shook his head as he watched me throw a pair of jeans on the pile. “What's wrong with those?” he asked.

“I don't like them.” I said as I turned back to my closet.

Steven picked them up and looked at them. “There's nothing wrong with these.” he said as he held them up. “Aren't you going to try them on?”

“Nope.” I was busy pushing hangers around trying to find more that would go on the giveaway pile.

“Why not?”

I took the jeans out of him hands and dropped them back on the pile. Then I looked deep into his eyes and slowly said. “Because I don't want to try them on.”

Steven looked confused for a moment then seemed to snap out of it. “Oh, sorry. I guess they don't fit anymore, huh?”

We stared at each other for a moment until Steven turned to leave. “Maybe I'll leave you alone while you finish up.” he said as he headed for the bedroom door.

“That would be a real good idea.” I said, as I sadly pulled more things out that were the wrong size.

Steven stopped in the doorway. “Would it make you feel any better if I made you a cup of tea?”

“You know, I think it would.” I had to smile.