Saturday, December 19, 2015

GLITTER-FREE CHRISTMAS

My husband, Steven and our two boys and I were sitting down to dinner when our oldest son Max looked over at me and asked. “What's on your face?”
Now of course my first instinct was to answer, in as whinny little kids voice, “What's on YOUR face?” But I'm not four years old so instead I answered, “I don't know, what's it look like to you?”
“It looks like glitter.” he said.
“Oh, that's because I was wrapping presents and and I got a few gift bags with glitter on them.”
All three of my guys groaned.
“Didn't we ask you not to bring any more glitter into the house?” Steven asked as he wiped his hand along the tabletop and then looked at his hand. “Great.” he said as he held it up for me to see. “Glitter!”
“Wow, I didn't even wrap the presents on this table.” I wiped my hand along the table and looked to see if I'd get any on me. Sure enough I did. “I wonder how that got there?”
“Because it's GLITTER!” Alex said. “It gets on everything!” He pushed away from the table and began inspecting his arms. Max and Steven began doing the same thing.
“Oh come on! It's pretty!” I said as I tried to brush the few flecks off my hands and was having trouble doing it. “These things sure do stick.” Now I was trying to scrape them off with my nail.
“Exactly!” Steven said. “I'm still finding them on me from weeks ago when you wrote out our Christmas cards.”
“Why would anyone want to get a Christmas card with glitter on it?” Alex asked as he finally gave up the glitter search and went back to eating dinner.
“Who knows?” Steven answered. “It's like a booby trap in an envelope. Why not just fill the card full of confetti so when they open it up it fly’s all over their house.”
Max and Alex both liked that idea and began to laugh.
“Because that would just make a mess and it wouldn't make the card pretty.” I argued. “Besides instead of complaining you should be thanking me for taking the time for find a nice card, write a special note in it, and send it to all of our friends.”
“I did thank you.” Steven said. “But I still don't think anyone wants a glitter card.”
Alex looked over at Steven. “You have glitter on your face.” he said.
“Are you kidding!” Steven said as he looked back at me.
“No you don't.” I said. But he did. It was a tiny silver speck right on the end of his nose.
“Yes he does.” Max said.
“Neither of you are helping right now.” I said as I passed Alex the platter of meat.
“It's all part of the holiday.” I reasoned. “The tree drops it's needles, the credit card bills go up and you find a few specks of glitter around the house.”
“We have an artificial tree.” Alex said.
“It still drops needles!” I cried.
“Fine.” Alex shrugged his shoulders as he passed the platter to his brother.
“All we're asking is for you to make this a glitter-free house during the holidays.” Steven said. “I really don't think that's a lot to ask.”
“Yeah!” Max and Alex said in unison.
“I can't believe you three.” I complain but suddenly realized there was something in my eye, “I'll be right back.” I said as I got up from the table. “Something got under my contact.”
As I walked towards the bathroom I could hear Max say, “Five bucks says it's glitter.”
I could hear the other two laughing.

Normally I would have called back that I could still hear them, but my eye hurt too much and I was pretty sure they were right.

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